Lessons From My Trauma - pt 2

How did I make it through?

Asking for help didn't work.

Puppy snuggles helped

but not enough to make

a difference.

My own trauma.

Thats what kept me intact / breathing

tonight.

It was hell. Don't think

I've fully healed from it yet.

I would do anything, even

keep going, so my kids wouldn't

go through worse

I love them. So much.

So much that I feel

bad that I'm the parent

they got. They deserve

so mmuch better. So, so

much,

My pain, my trauma,

my issues - tose are

all exactly that -> MINE.

They are not a cause

or a factor of how I

fell -> meaning the

fact that I am hardly

holding on.

Even when I'm mad,

frustrated, or...

I love them. More than

life itself.

They are the sun

shine in my life.

Sometimes, like now

the dark gets so thick,

that even the brightest

of suns cant break

through.

The dark becomes everything.

my pain broke through.

my scars and tears

the trauma that has become

part of who I am...

my trauma might cause them

their fair share

But it can save me from

this pain. This drowning.

Instead of smothering

me, my trauma has kept me breathing.

for tonight.